


The Life of Shiga Tsuyoshi

by teikouarc



Category: Ookiku Furikabutte | Big Windup!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-22
Updated: 2013-12-22
Packaged: 2018-01-05 12:41:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,503
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1093983
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/teikouarc/pseuds/teikouarc
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Shiga Tsuyoshi: math teacher, baseball team advisor, human body enthusiast, and…?</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Life of Shiga Tsuyoshi

**Author's Note:**

> after rping shiga for all of three days, I have fallen completely in love with him just being a weird as fuck, inexplicable person and that's my only excuse.

Most people who met him were of the opinion that Shiga Tsuyoshi was a rather boring man. He was very nice, but very boring. He didn’t receive many invitations to social events, and didn’t talk to his colleagues much more than the usual platitudes. He was okay with all of this, he had enough on his plate as it was. Plus, he was married with a family, he didn’t need to be out drinking with the single teachers, he was perfectly happy with his current situation.

But sometimes the Nishiura baseball team would get to wondering if maybe there was more to the man who watched them from the dugout on a daily basis. Conversations on the way home would turn to the ever popular topic of whether or not he and Momoe were “involved”, and other such things as “where does he get all this science crap from if he’s a math teacher?”. They had already gone over all of these things many times, but they didn’t seem to tire of the topic. Even though they each had answers that made enough sense, nothing seemed right.

They still felt there was a missing piece.

But then Hanai or Abe or Suyama would speak up and tell whoever was saying that that they were just being paranoid and that they needed to stop thinking so much. Then whoever they said that too would go after them for a noogie or something like that, and suddenly Shiga was completely forgotten among the group of 10. It was just as well, too, seeing as they wouldn’t ever talk some sense into the situation. Shiga was an enigma—a boring one, but an enigma all the same. In a couple days they would revisit the topic, but the end result would be the same.

Shiga himself never knew that these conversations occurred at all, let alone regularly. If he did, he would happily tell the team that his life was perfectly normal. Just like every other working adult, he got up in the morning (much before his wife who worked from home), got showered, and checked through his lesson plans for the day while walking to the bus stop. The bus ride was uneventful, except for that one time that the bus was fifteen minutes late due to a flat tire situation. He’d arrive at school and oversee practice until it was time for classes to start.

He’d teach each class practically the same lesson throughout the day, with some variation depending on if one class was a little behind or ahead of the rest and when the bell rang to dismiss, he would head to the faculty room to grade papers and do paperwork for a little while before once again overseeing the baseball team’s practice. He would often have good conversations with Shinooka during these times, and was quite fond of her. He didn’t like playing favorites, but what teacher would be able to resist her? She was the sweetest girl in the school, and spoke as frankly to teachers as she would students. It was an admirable trait.

After all of that, he would catch the bus for his commute home, and if he had time, read books on the human body in the dying light of day. When he got home, his wife had dinner almost ready, with just enough time to spare for him to get out of his suit and into more comfortable clothes.

He would eat dinner with his wife, son, and daughter, and listen to them all talk about their days. He would always listen earnestly, as though there were nothing more interesting to him than his daughter’s adventures in picking flowers or his son’s avid interest in reading. Which, there were few things more interesting to him than his family’s interests. (He was a big family man.)

And then sometimes, rarely, their phone would ring at 8:15 on the dot.

When he would answer it, a deep, gravelly voice would speak before he could say hello. “Tsuyoshi, we need you.” He would sigh, but in resignation rather than annoyance.

“I’m on my way.” He would hang up the phone without any further words, kiss his wife on the cheek and make his way back into their room to get back into his work clothes. While in their closet, he would push aside a few of the dresses his wife never wore anymore to reveal a discreet button. He would press it, and a panel on their closet’s wall would open, revealing a staircase leading far, far downwards. He would follow the staircase, knowing the way very well by now.

It would lead him to the underground bullet train system built by the government in 1996 to transport important government officials from place to place. Some specific people were also given direct access to this, but otherwise, no one knew about it. It was the fastest way to get around, and fast was what Shiga needed. He wasn’t ever called unless it was urgent.

When he arrived, he could tell. There were screams and sounds of destruction happening far above him on the surface. He sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose, looking very tired.

This was the first time in over a year that Miss Calculate had shown her face in Japan.

It had been just as long since Shiga had taken on the persona of SOHCAHTOA Man. He thought the name was rather silly now that he had grown up a bit, but you can’t shake something like that. It’s with you for the rest of your life.

He stood as the train came to a stop, and began sprinting up the staircase. He pressed a certain button on his pocket watch, and his glasses turned on. An x and y axis popped up on them, complete with a zoom function for him to spot his enemies quickly and efficiently. A beam sprouted out from the watch, and roved over his running body. Soon he was in his fighting gear, as he had been wearing his suit that corresponded with the watch. It had taken him years to figure out how to make this whole thing work, but once he did it had somehow become quite elaborate.

He reached the surface and surveyed the damage. Miss Calculate, he guessed, was in the giant robot that was destroying buildings as he thought.

“Hold it, Miss Calculate!” His voice boomed out over the city, and the robot paused in it’s destruction. “I won’t allow you to continue dividing this town!”

“SOHCAHTOA Man… I knew you would be coming.” A tinny voice came from the robot, a distorted version of the one Shiga hadn’t heard since their last encounter. “But I’m afraid you won’t be able to stop me this time. Your variable simply won’t cancel mine out this time! You see, I have a robot… and you do not! Tell me what THAT adds up to, silly man.”

The man standing on the ground chuckled. “Well, Miss Calculate, looks like you’re truly living up to your name. Because you’re the one clearly outmatched here.” He casually walked over to a fire hydrant that didn’t seem much different from the rest, but pressed down on a hidden button disguised as a bolt. He made sure he was standing on it as the underground robot came to life and emerged from its ten year sleep.

“That’s… that’s impossible!! How could you have predicted that I would come to this exact spot, and that I would have a robot that you would need to counter against!?” She yelled, obviously distressed.

“I just did the math. It’s not hard to do, if you would just try. Shall I teach you?” He asked slyly, while commanding his hydrantbot 1.0 to advance on hers. 

The battle was fierce, but the surprise had just been too much for Miss Calculate. After about 15 more minutes of fighting sprinkled with math puns, the villain’s robot buckled and fell to the ground, unable to move anymore. Before Miss Calculate could escape, police officials had her in handcuffs.

“You’ll regret this, SOHCAHTOA Man. I swear on my graphfather’s grave. You will pay for this one day.” She intoned to him darkly while being stuffed into a police cruiser.

“I look forward to it. I hope it will be a positive experience for us both.” He said lightly, before heading back towards the secret entrance to the railroad.

On the ride home, Shiga considered how he was getting too old for this stuff. He would consider retiring it he wasn’t the only one who could fight off all of the math otakus turned villains in this world. Only he could do this job.

And at this point it was just another normal part of his life.

Upon first meeting Shiga Tsuyoshi, most people find him to be rather boring. Nice, but boring.

Most have never heard of SOHCAHTOA Man, either, though, so maybe that explains things.


End file.
